حمید حسینی - ایستگاه زبان

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Aliabad University

مدیر وبلاگ : م ا[24]

نویسندگان وبلاگ :
حمید حسینی[21]

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حمید حسینی - ایستگاه زبان

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Return to Paradise نویسنده: حمید حسینی پنج شنبه 86/2/20 ساعت 10:9 ع

Eliza Riley

Return to Paradise

Lisa gazed out over the Caribbean Sea, feeling the faint breeze against her face - eyes shut, the white sand warm between her bare toes. The place was beautiful beyond belief, but it was still unable to ease the grief she felt as she remembered the last time she had been here.
     She had married James right here on this spot three years ago to the day. Dressed in a simple white shift dress, miniature white roses attempting to tame her long dark curls, Lisa had been happier than she had ever thought possible. James was even less formal but utterly irresistible in creased summer trousers and a loose white cotton shirt. His dark hair slightly ruffled and his eyes full of adoration as his looked at his bride to be. The justice of the peace had read their vows as they held hands and laughed at the sheer joy of being young, in love and staying in a five star resort on the Caribbean island of the Dominican Republic. They had seen the years blissfully stretching ahead of them, together forever. They planned their children, two she said, he said four so they compromised on three (two girls and a boy of course); where they would live, the travelling they would do together - it was all certain, so they had thought then.
     But that seemed such a long time ago now. A lot can change in just a few years - a lot of heartache can change a person and drive a wedge through the strongest ties, break even the deepest love. Three years to the day and they had returned, though this time not for the beachside marriages the island was famous for but for one of its equally popular quickie divorces.
     Lisa let out a sigh that was filled with pain and regret. What could she do but move on, find a new life and new dreams? - the old one was beyond repair. How could this beautiful place, with its lush green coastline, eternity of azure blue sea and endless sands be a place for the agony she felt now?
     The man stood watching from the edge of the palm trees. He couldn"t take his eyes of the dark-haired woman he saw standing at the water"s edge, gazing out to sea as though she was waiting for something - or someone. She was beautiful, with her slim figure dressed in a loose flowing cotton dress, her crazy hair and bright blue eyes not far off the colour of the sea itself. It wasn"t her looks that attracted him though; he came across many beautiful women in his work as a freelance photographer. It was her loneliness and intensity that lured him. Even at some distance he was aware that she was different from any other woman he could meet.

   Lisa sensed the man approaching even before she turned around. She had been aware of him standing there staring at her and had felt strangely calm about being observed. She looked at him and felt the instant spark of connection she had only experienced once before. He walked slowly towards her and they held each other"s gaze. It felt like meeting a long lost friend - not a stranger on a strange beach.
     Later, sitting at one of the many bars on the resort, sipping the local cocktails they began to talk. First pleasantries, their hotels, the quality of the food and friendliness of the locals. Their conversation was strangely hesitant considering the naturalness and confidence of their earlier meeting. Onlookers, however, would have detected the subtle flirtation as they mirrored each other"s actions and spoke directly into each other"s eyes. Only later, after the alcohol had had its loosening effect, did the conversation deepen. They talked of why they were here and finally, against her judgement, Lisa opened up about her heartache of the past year and how events had led her back to the place where she had married the only man she believed she could ever love. She told him of things that had been locked deep inside her, able to tell no one. She told him how she had felt after she had lost her baby.
     She was six months pregnant and the happiest she had ever been when the pains had started. She was staying with her mother as James was working out of town. He hadn"t made it back in time. The doctor had said it was just one of those things, that they could try again. But how could she when she couldn"t even look James in the eye. She hated him then, for not being there, for not hurting as much as her but most of all for looking so much like the tiny baby boy that she held for just three hours before the took him away. All through the following months she had withdrawn from her husband, family, friends. Not wanting to recover form the pain she felt - that would have been a betrayal of her son. At the funeral she had refused to stand next to her husband and the next day she had left him.

Looking up, Lisa could see her pain reflected in the man"s eyes. For the first time in months she didn"t feel alone, she felt the unbearable burden begin to lift from her, only a bit but it was a start. She began to believe that maybe she had a future after all and maybe it could be with this man, with his kind hazel eyes, wet with their shared tears.
They had come here to dissolve their marriage but maybe there was hope. Lisa stood up and took James by the hand and led him away from the bar towards the beech where they had made their vows to each other three years ago. Tomorrow she would cancel the divorce; tonight they would work on renewing their promises.

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From tadpole to frog نویسنده: حمید حسینی پنج شنبه 86/2/20 ساعت 10:4 ع

From tadpole to frog

1. Did you know that there are more than 2,000 types of frogs? Some live on or near water all the time. Others inhabit land. They live there most of their lives.

2. People who study animals are called biologists. They have found that one thing is the same about all frogs. Each begins as tadpole. The tadpole is one stage in a frog’s development. It follows the egg stage.

3.A tadpole is not fully formed when it hatches. This is an early stage of its growth. It lives in the water. Most tadpoles can be found in lagoons. Some live in other quiet bodies of water.

4. The tadpole breathes through gills. It is like a fish. In some ways it is more like a fish than like a land animal. That is why water is the best environment for to live in at this stage of its life.

5. The tadpole’s body goes through slow , gradual changes as it grows. First the tail gets longer. Then the tadple can swim. It darts around in the water, moving quickly to find food. It eats underwater plants called algae.

6. Soon , the tadpole’s body grows legs. At this point, it is also loses its gills. It does all its breathing on land. The tadpole can do thi because its gills have been replaced by lungs.

7.The last change for the tadpole has to do with its tail. When it first hatches, the tail is the longest part of its body. Over time, the tail gets shorter and shorter. Soon, the tail is gone, and the animal becomes a frog.

Reference: Reading for general English Dr.Farideh pourgive

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How does your skin grow نویسنده: حمید حسینی پنج شنبه 86/2/20 ساعت 10:3 ع

How does your skin grow?

1. As you grow, your skin grows, too. In fact, throughout your lifetime your skin keeps growing. Stare at your arm for about 60 seconds. Can you see any changes? probably not. now, with your fingernail, gently scrape the surface of your skin. What you see are tiny specks that are flakes of skin cells. This is quite normal. Every hour your body sheds about one million dead skin cells.

2. Skin is strong and tough. It protects the muscles and organs underneath. It also keeps dangerous germs from entering the body. What keeps your skin strong? Do you know how your skin grows?

3. Skin is made up of three layers. Each layer has a function, or a different job to do. The bottom layer is thick and holds sweat glands and nerves, which help you feel. The sweat glands insulate, or keep the body from getting too hot. Cells in the glands make sweat. Sweat reaches the surface of the skin and dries, keeping you cool.

4. The middle layer of your skin has millions of cells. These cells grow and divide into other cells. As new cells are made, some are pushed to the top layer. The cells pushed to the surface are dead skin cells. The dead layer of skin rubs off. Then a new layer of skin takes its place. This keeps your skin healthy. Your skin keeps growing this way even as a mature adult.

5. Imagine, every month you have an almost completely new outer skin! It would be truly amazing to watch this change happen. But the growth and change of skin is invisible to the naked eye.

Reference: Reading for general English Dr.Farideh pourgive

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Rainbows نویسنده: حمید حسینی یکشنبه 86/2/16 ساعت 10:56 ع

Rainbows

1. A rainbow is an arch of colors in the sky. This curved shape is formed when the sun shines after a rainstorm. You can see a rainbow only at certain times. To observe it, you need to have the sun behind you. The rain must be in front of you.

2. A rainbow is a spectacular sight. It makes people stare in wonder. A rainbow has six colors-violet, blue, green, yellow, orange, and red. These colors are also present in sunlight. But they are very vivid in rainbow. They appear brighter than usual.

3. A rainbow forms because of what happens when light shines on water. The sun shines on a raindrop. The water reflects the light, or sends it back. The light is broken up into separate colors.

4. Of course, the sun shines on many raindrops at once. Each raindrop breaks the light in to the same six colors. Together, millions of raindrops from a display of colors called a rainbow.

5. Most people have seen rainbow in the sky. But they can form in other places, too. A rainbow can form wherever light shines on moisture, or wetness. Rainbows sometimes form in small puddles on the ground. The puddles can be made of water. But sometimes a rainbow is visible in a puddle of oil. You can also see a rainbow in water that squirts out of a garden hose.

Reference: Reading for general English Dr.Farideh pourgive

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Life in the sea نویسنده: حمید حسینی یکشنبه 86/2/16 ساعت 10:55 ع

Life in the sea

1. Deep, deep in the ocean, where the sunlight never reaches, live many strange fish. On the average, deep-ocean fish swim about two miles under the water. Some, ike the lantern fish, have ‘lights’ on their bodies. Others have enormous stomachs and can eat fish twice their size.

2. Fish in deep water look different from fish that live in shallower water. This is because food is scarce, or hard to find, in deep water. Plants cannot grow so far beneath the surface because sunlight cannot reach there. So nature has helped fish that live at great depths. It has given them lights and sharp teeth-the things they need to find and catch other fish to eat.

3. Near the shore where the water is not so deep, live fish and sea animals that we know better. Here, fish hide in green and brown weeds, turtles swim, and seals play. Below the ocean’s surface, you can see many colorful fish that are yellow, blue, and red.

4. In shallow water, there is plenty of food. Many sea plants and tiny water animals live in these sunny areas. There is even enough food to feed mammoth sea animals, like huge whales.

5. The vast ocean is so large, it can be home to many kinds of fish. As you can see, he fish swimming in the oceans live in very different ways.

Reference: Reading for general English Dr.farideh pourgive

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Showtime نویسنده: حمید حسینی یکشنبه 86/2/16 ساعت 10:53 ع

Showtime

1. Animals are an important part of the circus. The animal trainers work hard to

put their acts together. Trainers have dangerous jobs. They work with animals that are wild and could turn on them suddenly. That is why the trainers must tame the animals.

2. Most trainers teach their animals to follow commands. Lion trainers work with lions, tigers ,and leopards. The trainers often yell out commands and crack a whip. When they have new cats, the trainers may hold a chair for protection. Much caution is used when working with the big cats. A trainer’s back must never be turned toward these animals.

3. It is always fun to watch the circus elephants. These huge animals are very intelligent. They learn new tricks quickly. Elephants can be taught to walk and dance on their hind legs . But like other wild animals , they can be very dangerous.

4. It is easy to forget that monkeys are wild animals. They are very cunning, and can be taught to behave just like people.

5. Dogs have been good companions for people throughout the ages. In many homes, dogs are considered a part of the family. But dogs can also be trained to entertain circus audiences. When commands are taught over and over using rewards , the dogs eagerly respond. Just like the other animals, when it’s showtime, they are at their best.

Reference: Reading for general English Dr.farideh pourgive

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A world below the trees نویسنده: حمید حسینی جمعه 86/2/14 ساعت 11:27 ع

A world below the trees

1.You are walking near the edge of a tropical rain forest.The jungle plants are so thick,so close together,that you must slowly push your way through.Then the jungle ends,and you enter the rain forest itself.Here the distance,or space,between the plants is greater.

2.A tropical rain forest is made up of different levels.The top level is a ceiling of treetops.Measured from the ground up,the treetops reach 100 to 200 feet in height.The middle level is made up of shorter trees and bushes.Here,many animals and insects live.The number of different kinds of insects alone is well over one thousand.Plants at the lowest level,the forest floor,are about a meter high.

3.Jungles often grow at the adge of rain forest.But if you compare the two ,you see that they are not alike.Many plants crowd the sunny jungle.Plants are not as numerous on the rain forest floor since it is shaded by the treetops.

4.Today,rain forests are changing.people cut down trees and use the land to grow crops.As people increase their use of the land,rain forests get smaller.

5.We must try to protect these rain forests.Not only are they home to many animals and plants,but they also help supply the earth with oxygen.Rain forests give up clean air to breathe.

Reference: reading for general English dr.farideh pourgive

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short stories نویسنده: حمید حسینی شنبه 86/2/8 ساعت 2:46 ص

Charlie Fish

The Man Who Married Himself

"Why not?"
     With those two words, my good friend Reverend Zatarga changed the course of my life. When he said them to me, he had just spent two hours on the telephone with Bishop Fleming discussing various sections of the Bible in excruciatingly fine detail. He pointed out that Leviticus warns Christians not to marry their sister, aunt, mother, mother-in-law, daughter or even their granddaughter (should they be tempted). But nowhere in the good book is there a rule against marrying oneself. So when I told Reverend Zatarga that was exactly what I wanted to do, he eventually conceded those two fateful words:
     "Why not?"
     Of course, the Bible also neglects to forbid anyone from marrying great-grandmothers, tables or pet fish. I wouldn"t be surprised to learn that Bishop Fleming ended up marrying his beloved French poodle as a result of all this. Or his blanket - after all he"s been sleeping with it for years. Anyway, once I convinced the good Reverend to let me marry the man of my dreams, I had to convince my mother and father. I"d have to say that between an international religion, firmly established for two millennia, and my own humble parents, my parents were far more difficult to persuade.
     My mother just wouldn"t take it seriously at first. OK, very few people took it seriously, but I needed her to know I meant it. She kept asking me silly things like "Why marry - you can just live with yourself?" or "What will you wear for the wedding?"
     And sadly, it drove my father quite mad. Literally. For years after the wedding he spent days typing up articles for a wide variety of news journals, record books and space administration newsletters claiming that he was the first person to have had sex in space. He seemed quite convinced, despite the fact that the closest he had come to space was the big button on his computer keyboard. When asked who he had allegedly had sex with, he would usually pause briefly for dramatic effect, turn his wild eyes towards you and yell shrilly: "Myself!"
     I would have hoped that I could trust my best friends to be sympathetic towards my cause, but I think it was all a bit of a joke for them. They were often supportive, but after the wedding they just spent a lot of time making fun of me. Some of the wedding presents I received from them were quite demeaning: pornographic magazines, silk gloves, even a ceiling mirror. And I"m disappointed in them for not stifling their mirth when Reverend Zatarga recited the marriage vows: "Will you keep yourself as a husband, to live as one in marriage? Will you love and comfort yourself, obey and honour yourself in sickness and in health, and be faithful to yourself as long as you shall live?" I swear one of my friends wet himself laughing.

< 2 >

     I had a great honeymoon in Las Vegas, gambling away all my savings with nobody to nag me about how much money I was spending. I had a penthouse suite in the Luxor hotel for the night of consummation . . .
     I had many reasons for getting married when I did, apart from the tax benefits of course (trying to make the tax inspector understand that I was my own spouse was hell, though). Ever since I understood the concept of wedlock, I longed for a partner that I could trust. I wanted to have someone with me always, to whom I could tell all my deepest, darkest secrets without having them laugh at me. Unfortunately, although getting girlfriends was usually not too big a problem for me, I tended to have excruciatingly bad taste. Then I realised that my perfect partner was closer to home than anyone could have realised.
     Altogether, I think the marriage was a great success for the most part. I rarely argued with my spouse; in fact I found myself to be the best conversation holder around. The few times that I did argue, I always won. And the sex was, well - it was whatever I made of it. There was some media intrusion of course, lots of cheap journalists trying to cash in on this unusual union. I found some of their articles amusing, and others quite offensive, especially the ones dubbing me the most conceited and/or narcissistic man in the world. I don"t think I"m such an egotist, I just happen to enjoy my company.
     I suppose it was a hormonal thing, a stage of life or something, that made me suddenly crave a child. The cliche is that I realised I was mortal, and I therefore wanted to pass on my genes. So after many days weighing up the pros and cons I decided to split up from my husband in order to find a wife. I had a chat with Reverend Zatarga, and he informed me that I couldn"t just file for a divorce on a moment"s notice. I had to have legitimate justification. Curiously, wanting a baby wasn"t on the list of good reasons to divorce.
     As the good Reverend explained, I could only divorce if I had been living apart from my spouse for at least a year which would be difficult without major surgery or if my spouse had treated me cruelly or been imprisoned for at least a year. I wasn"t particularly willing to beat myself up a bit or lounge around in prison just so I could divorce myself. That left one option: Adultery. I just had to have sex with someone other than myself; normal, straight, human sex, and I could be free from the bonds of marriage.

< 3 >

     And so it was that I reluctantly removed my wedding ring and started searching for a mate. My friends were cruel about it, saying that I was separating to stop myself from going blind. I think my mother was relieved when I told her that my relationship with myself was coming to an end. My father just paused for dramatic effect, turned his wild eyes towards me and yelled shrilly: "Myself!" Maybe he really is on another world.
     I expected it to take me quite a while to find someone who was both willing to sleep with me and who hadn"t read the newspapers enough to know that I was already married, but I soon found a plain-faced Malaysian girl who was relatively easy to seduce. The sex was, to be honest, rather disappointing. It seemed that she knew almost nothing of what turns a man on, whereas by that point I myself had become quite an expert. I suppose it wasn"t great for her either - I wasn"t practised in pleasuring members of the fairer sex.
     The divorce was easy after that. It seemed that the church was keen to split me apart, as if my marriage had been a big mistake. I felt quite lonely for several months after the break-up. At least the local psychiatrist (specialising in multiple personality disorders) stopped sending me his damned business cards every week.
     It took me nearly a decade to find a good wife who didn"t think she"d be marrying into a threesome. Most of that time was just waiting for the media to forget about "The Man Who Married Himself". Meanwhile, I wrote an autobiography with that very title. Included in the book was a detailed account of my marriage to myself, including the ups and downs of living with myself, how I dealt with everyone"s criticism of me and my husband, and some intimate details of my relationship. I think it was these sections that made the book a real success when it was published some years later. People were just curious to read about the implications of such an unusual marriage. I suppose it made people think. They would read my book and ask themselves: "Am I easy to live with? If I had to live with me, could I do it?" They all stopped searching for their Mister or Little Miss Right for just a moment to ask themselves if they would ever make a good spouse for anyone.

< 4 >

I didn"t hear of any copycat self-marriages, which probably either means the media lost interest or the church is determined not to let it happen again. Anyway, that"s all behind me now. My wife and I have just moved into a new home, big enough to accommodate our new child when he is born. I am happy now. In fact, right now I can"t wipe the smile off my face. You see, our next door neighbours are Bishop Fleming and his lovely wife, the French poodle

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short stories نویسنده: حمید حسینی شنبه 86/2/8 ساعت 2:36 ص

Colin C. Conway

86th Street and the Summer of Love

I despised the dumpy kid for curling up and letting us beat on him. He didn"t know it, but the less he fought the worse he made it on himself and the harder he made it on me. I hated feeling the guilt for something we hadn"t even done yet.
     We"d found the kid walking alone a few blocks from 86th Street, our turf. He was walking with a fudgesicle in one hand and a bottle of Coca-Cola in the other. He didn"t have a care in the world as he waddled down the street. For him, summer vacations meant time away from the teasing and cruelty of high school. Being a tubby kid with pimples would be tough amongst the sharks that stalk the halls everyday. When I had that realization, I felt sorry for the little bastard and what we were about to do to him.
     I don"t think the rest of the guys felt the way I did. They looked forward to moments like this. Miles Morgan, Ronnie Dougan, Terrance "Terry" Smalls and Jay O"Neal were my friends, my family, my brothers. Together we were the 86th Street Choppers. All of us were eighteen except Ronnie who was nineteen and the meanest motherfucker in the bunch.
     We stopped the pudgy kid in the middle of the sidewalk and surrounded him. He wore a dirty white t-shirt and high-water jeans. Everything about him practically begged for this moment.
     The kid stopped eating his fudgesicle and muttered, "What"s up, fellas?"
     Miles grinned and shook his head while clicking his tongue against his teeth. Miles was a thick guy, not fat, just naturally big. He weighed in around two hundred pounds and none of it was soft. Miles scratched his chin and said, "I"m thirsty."
     The kid stared at the Coca-Cola in his hand, thoughts racing through his mind. The fudgesicle dripped down onto his other hand.
     Jay O"Neal snatched the bottle of soda away from the kid and handed it to Miles. Jay was Miles" shadow and a scrapper in the best Irish tradition. He hated his red hair so much that he always had on a Yankees baseball hat to cover the flat top he sported.
     Miles studied the bottle and growled at the kid whose eyes were now wide in fear. "Coke? I hate Coke."

< 2 >

     Miles glared back up at the kid. "You know I hate Coke, right?"
     Jay laughed before saying, "Shit, everyone knows you hate Coke."
     Mile nodded at Jay and held the bottle up to the kid"s face. "Then why isn"t this Pepsi?"
     The fat kid stuttered, "B-b-b-because I l-l-like C-C-Coke."
     Miles threw the bottle against the nearby brick building. It shattered, exploding shards of glass everywhere.
     Terrance smacked the fudgesicle from the kid"s hand, sending it to the sidewalk. The kid squealed in fear. Terry had a chip on his shoulder because he grew up black in this neighborhood. I could care less what color Terry was. His blood was red just like mine and we had spilled plenty of ours together in battles over turf and respect. Until he got in with us, things were tough for Terry. There were plenty of ignorant bastards around who would attack any person because of their color. Maybe that"s why Terry liked these moments so much.
     An evil smile found its home on Ronnie"s face. He stepped in front of the kid and laid down the rules. "Fight back or it"ll get worse."
     Confusion spread on the kid"s face. "Huh?"
     Ronnie whipped out a punch to the kid"s nose and sent him reeling backwards. Terrance caught him and shoved him back into the circle.
     Fight back, I chanted to myself in hopes it would somehow magically inspire the little bastard to come up swinging.
     Ronnie slammed two punches into the kid"s head before stepping back to let the others in.
     The kid held up his hands and cried out, "I don"t wanna fight." His voice was suddenly high and screechy.
     Miles slipped in and hook-punched the kid in the kidney. As the kid screamed in pain, Miles laughed and danced around like Cassius Clay.
     I stepped in front of the kid and slapped him hard across the face. His eyes focused hard and drool ran from his lips. I leaned into him and ordered, "Fight back."
     The kid bawled and shook his head wildly.
     "Fight me," I growled and drove a punch deep into his soft stomach. Tears and dirt covered his face as he begged for us to stop.
     Ronnie kicked him in the back of the thigh, ending the whimpering by dropping the kid to the ground.

< 3 >

     Miles booted the kid"s big belly, doubling him up and forcing him to suck for more air.
     Ronnie yelled "Grab him" and we scrambled for a hold as the kid thrashed around. I ended up grabbing his legs with Miles.
     All of us dragged the kid into the street and Ronnie pressed the kid"s face on to the edge of the curb. He kept pushing until the kid opened his mouth in pain and ended up with a mouthful of concrete. The rest of us pinned the kid down on the ground. We all glanced around constantly, checking for witnesses and cops.
     Ronnie asked, "Who"s up?"
     Jay said, "It"s Mike"s turn," as he struggled to keep the kid"s chest pinned to the street.
     Ronnie looked at me and nodded. I knew it wasn"t a request.
     My stomach grew queasy as I let go of my hold on the kid and stepped up next to his head. Everyone yelled at me to hurry up since the kid was panicking and trying to take his mouth off the curb edge.
     I lifted up my foot up over the kid"s head, closed my eyes and stomped down. I felt the crunching of teeth rattle its way through my leg, work its way up my body and slam into my brain. I hated doing that. I didn"t mind beating the kid. I just hated destroying his teeth.
     I could hear the guys cheering as the kid let go of an inhuman shriek. I opened my eyes when Ronnie shook me.
     "C"mon, man, cops"ll be here soon."
     I looked down at the kid who had rolled over onto his back. Blood covered his face and his eyes looked like they had seen the devil up close and personal.
     Ronnie yanked on my arm one more time before I turned and ran.

The summer heat was stifling. So was the world for that fact. The country was at war in Vietnam and some of our family was there.
     Miles" cousin died one month after he got in to country. Ronnie"s brother came home missing a leg. Jay"s twin older brothers came home in boxes. Terrance"s dad, his real dad, went to war and ended up missing. The Marines couldn"t find him and apologized to his mom in a telegram.
     My brother, Tom, was in country almost a year and fighting with the 101st. He actually volunteered to go Vietnam. He"d write me letters occasionally. When he first got over there, he used to say how important the war was for our country and the fight against communism. In his last letter, though, he said he couldn"t wait to get away from that land and the war. He told me the only thing he"d miss would be the LBFs. Little Brown Fuckers. The Vietnamese prostitutes. He said they could do things with a pussy no American girl would ever figure out. I wasn"t sure what he meant by that, but he promised to tell me when he got home.

< 4 >

     We were all waiting for and dreading our notifications. That little white card that read US Selective Services Draft Card. Jay wasn"t worried about the draft now that both of his brothers were dead and neither was Terrance who"d lost a kidney in a car accident and his dad to the war. But the rest of us knew those cards were coming soon and we hated the world because of it.

     We had a rule in the gang; if they fought back hard then we let them go. That didn"t mean they could fight half-assed to get away. No, they had to lay every thing they had on the table before we would let them walk. If they quit or if they didn"t fight at all, then we busted them up hard. We busted them up permanent.
     I don"t remember how the fights started or why but I used to love them. It was about the combat, the challenge of pitting ourselves against others. Things went bad when people refused to fight us. I think it was one of those hippie fucks who first said he wouldn"t fight. We had to show him the error of his ways and used the curb. It seemed like a good idea the first time until I saw the damage. Each time got worse for me especially after I had to do it a couple of times. If I was strong like my brother Tom, I would have stood up and said no more. But I wasn"t so the fights continued.
     People say life on the street is hard. They don"t know anything. Life is easy. It"s always there. Breathe in and breathe out and you got life figured out. It"s the people who are hard. All you had to do was look at the war. All you had to do was look at us.

A few weeks later, we found another kid walking alone and singing to himself. He was tall and skinny with a sad kind of gait. When I saw Ronnie hunch his shoulders I knew we"d found the next victim.
     As he got close, we got up from the steps we were sitting on and surrounded him. He didn"t say a word and took his hands out of his pockets.
     "Sing me a song, queer bait," Terry teased.

< 5 >

     The kid eyed him but didn"t say a word.
     "Shit, I don"t want that faggot singing again. He sounded worse than fuckin" Ringo." Jay slapped Terry on the back and laughed at his own joke.
     The kid didn"t move anything but his eyes. Something didn"t feel right about this one which caused my stomach to knot up.
     Ronnie shook his head and chested up to the kid. "Fight back or it"ll get worse," he ordered.
     The tall, skinny kid just stared into Ronnie"s eyes.
     Ronnie waved his hand in front of the kid"s face. "Can you hear me, retard? Or should I just beat the shit out of you until you do hear me."
     The bean pole slammed his fist into Ronnie"s face before Ronnie even lifted a hand. Ronnie stumbled backward as confusion mixed with pain.
     Jay jumped and swung wildly at the kid, missing him entirely. The kid moved to the side and used Jay as a shield for Terrance"s haymaker. Terry tried to pull the violent punch but cold-cocked Jay in the ear. Jay wobbled for a second and then dropped like an anchor.
     Miles surprised the kid with a bear hug from the rear that lifted him off the ground. As he struggled to get free, I ran up and sucker punched him in the gut. Miles threw him to the ground with a sickening thud.
     The guys jumped on the beanpole and dragged him into the street. Ronnie grabbed his head and slammed into onto the curb, forcing him to open wide and breaking teeth in the process.
     "Ronnie," I yelled. "Let him go."
     "Fuck you, man," he screamed at me, his eyes wild with rage. He turned his lunatic gaze to Terrance. "Bust this bastard"s teeth."
     Terry jumped off of the kid and stepped up next to his head. When he lifted his foot, I shoved him over and sent him sprawling into the guys.
     There were arms and legs flying everywhere as he fell. The guys let go of the kid to help catch Terry before he hit the pavement. In the confusion, the kid got up and sprinted away.
     Miles chased him for a bit but eventually gave up.
     When Terry found his footing, he ran towards me with murder in his eyes. Jay stepped in between him and me and held up Terrance. "Relax," he screamed at Terry.

< 6 >

     Ronnie stood up and dusted himself off. He walked up to me and put his face inches from mine.
     "What the fuck is your problem, man?"
     "The kid fought back. We let him go."
     Ronnie thumped me in the chest with his finger. "He started the fight. All bets are off at that point."
     I shook my head and pointed back at Ronnie. "We started the fight. You were gonna break the rule."
     "You betrayed us, you fuck. You crossed the line."
     Miles ran back up to us and saw Jay calming down Terry while Ronnie and I yelled at each other. He jumped in between us and put a hand on each of our chests, forcing us apart.
     "What the hell is going on here?"
     Ronnie never took his eyes from me. "Mike is out."
     "What?" I growled. "You can"t make that decision."
     Terry hollered at me, "You"re gone, motherfucker."
     Ronnie slid his eyes over to Miles and back to me. "What side of the line are you on, Miles?"
     Miles met my eyes, his hands still holding Ronnie and me apart. "He"s family, Ronnie. I say he stays."
     Ronnie shouted over his shoulder. "It"s up to you, Jay. Stay or go?"
     Jay turned around, but held Terry back with one arm. His face was hard as stone. "You didn"t stand with us."
     "Jay, he fought back," I pleaded.
     Jay shook his head. "Doesn"t matter. We"re family. You chose him over us. I vote you"re gone."
     Ronnie wiggled his fingers in front of my face. "Take off, pretty boy."
     "Fuck you," I yelled and flipped him the bird.
     Miles grabbed my arm and spun me around. He leaned in my ear and whispered hard. "Leave. Now. Don"t turn around."
     I walked away without looking back.

The next morning I laid in bed listening to Ain"t No Mountain High Enough on the radio. As Marvin Gaye"s voice floated through my room, I tossed into the air a baseball I once caught at a Yankees game. I went to that game with my mom and Tom on my twelfth birthday. That"s all I wanted for a present and my mom made it come true. My dad lived in Portland, Oregon, and sent me a Yankees hat and a new mitt for that birthday. Six birthdays later and that one still rated the highest of my life.

< 7 >

     A knock on the front door shook me from my childhood memories. I hoped it would be one of the guys, telling me that they would take me back. When my mom shrieked, I knew it wasn"t them.
     I sprinted into the living room and stopped when I saw the guy wearing Army dress greens. He had his hat tucked under one arm and wore a grim scowl on his face. He swallowed hard as he watched my mother weeping in front of him.
     When I touched her shoulder, she turned to me and fell into my arms. I could barely support her weight and ended up helping her to the sofa where we sat.
     The Army officer stood by and nervously looked around, not knowing how to comfort my mother but unable to leave the sad moment.
     She cried into my chest.
     "He"s dead," she managed to say between sobs.
     I patted her back. "I know, mom."

I didn"t leave the house for two days. A parade of aunts and uncles came by the house to bring food and sympathy. I stayed in my room and looked through Tom"s old stuff.
     The first night after I found out about Tom"s death I watched a news report about the fighting in Vietnam and the rising death toll. When the report ended, I realized I wouldn"t have to go over there now that I was the only son left. Guilt washed over me when I felt that sweet relief. Ashamed, I turned off the television and cried myself to sleep.
     The next morning, I morbidly read the letters he had sent me while he was over there. I cried again for a while after that and then put the letters into his high school year book. I slid the book under my mattress, hiding the memories but keeping them close.

"Fight or it"ll get worse."
     I could smell Ronnie"s breath because he stood so close to me. It smelled like a rancid mixture of strong onions and stronger alcohol.
     They cornered me in the alley just south of Rockaway. I was on my way to Mickey"s Billiards to blow off some steam playing pool and pinball. I couldn"t take the depression at home anymore and needed to get out.
     When they first surrounded me, I learned the fear all the others had known. Except I was sure there would be no getting away for me.

< 8 >

     "You hear about my brother?" I asked. My voice sounded strangely calm.
     Terry shrugged. "So fucking what, man? You ain"t shit to us, now."
     I glanced at Miles who stared down at the ground.
     Ronnie stepped up to me and swayed slightly. He"d been drinking which meant he was going to be especially mean. "Fight or it"ll get worse."
     Jay slammed into me from behind and sent me sprawling across the blacktop of the alley. Skin tore away from the heels of my palms as I slid to a stop. I scrambled to my feet and put my back against the nearest wall. Terry came running up at me and I kicked him as hard as I could in the balls. He collapsed, clutching himself and screaming in agony.
     Ronnie caught me from the side and tackled me to the ground. He kneed me several times in the ribs as I clawed at his eyes. I felt something give under my fingers and Ronnie pulled back, clutching his face. I punched him in the throat a second before Jay came up and kicked me in the head.
     I covered up and fought the bells clanging inside my skull. Jay stomped at me a couple of times before I staggered to my feet and launched myself at him. I caught him off guard when I ran into him and we both fell to the ground. I climbed onto to his chest, grabbed his head and slammed him into the ground. His eyes rolled backwards and he passed out.
     My balance was shaken so I steadied myself on the wall of a building. I made my way over to Terry who was on his hands and knees and throwing up. I kicked him in the balls from behind and he let out a funny little shriek and dropped to the ground.
     Ronnie lay on his back, kicking his legs in pain while his hands covered his eyes. When I punted him in the head, he went limp and his hands fell to the concrete. Blood covered his face. I grabbed him by the foot and dragged him into the street. I put his face up on the curb and stood over him.
     I met Miles" eyes who stood frozen in the alley. Even though he was the biggest guy in the gang, he suddenly looked small. He shook his head at me, sadness consuming him. I stared at the only friend who didn"t attack me and raised my foot up over Ronnie"s head. Tears burned down my cheeks.

< 9 >

     "I didn"t want this," Miles said, regret in his eyes.
     "Neither did I."
     I put my foot down carefully next to Ronnie"s head and rubbed the tears from my eyes with both of my hands. Men weren"t supposed to cry and I"d been crying a lot over the past two days.
     I grabbed a foot and dragged Ronnie out of the street and onto the sidewalk. He let out a small moan when I dropped his leg.
     Miles never moved towards me. He shoved his hands into his pockets and nodded once. When he spoke again, his voice was soft. "I"m sorry about Tom."
     I swallowed hard, a taste of bile invading my senses. I wanted to say something profound, something important. I"d lost my friends. I"d lost my brother. "Thanks," was the only thing that came to mind.
     We stood there for a moment in silence, knowing none of us would ever be the same. With the sound of police sirens approaching, I left Miles standing in the alley and went home.

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